My Heart Beats Only For You

Today is an extremely special day for me, for on this day exactly one year ago, Gabriella and I were married.  This is our first SLwedding anniversary and all week I have been waxing nostalgic.  We do not have the most epic of love stories, yet our love is that of fairy tales.  Before I take you down memory lane, I wanted to share the photographs that I hired the amazing Strawberry Singh to do for us.  This was one of my presents to Gabriella.  There is something magical and amazing in a Strawberry Singh photograph, and being as this is such a poignant and important day for us, I felt it was just the right way to capture our first year in marriage.  If you have not had a photograph by the amazing Berry, I urge you to for seeing yourself through her eyes is really something that touches deeply.

The Raynier’s By Strawberry Singh

The Raynier’s By Strawberry Singh

We hung this beautiful photo in our new home, and are paving a new road for this upcoming second year.  There are whispers of a little Cajun flitting around the house!

Anniversary-A New Home!

In my eyes, today is about us, and the journey that got us to this point.  Yet even moreso, it is about my beautiful Gabriella.  But to speak of Gabriella is not what my heart wants today, but to speak to her in words for it is the only way I know how to express all that resides in my heart.

Mon amour Gabriella,

On this day, one year ago, you and I became husband and wife in front of our friends.   Our wedding was perfect, beautiful and vibrant as is our love.  On that day, I gave you my  name and a ring to signify our devotion, yet it was long before our wedding that I gave you my heart.

When we met I was lost and alone, living in a world filled with monochrome hues and falling into a vast abyss of depression.  The moment we met, the gray canvas of my life suddenly came to life as if a grand painter splashed the sad canvas with every color of the rainbow.  You are my rainbow, mon ciel, filling my world with color and love from the start.

We hit it off from the start, and that spark grew as we enjoyed each others company, getting to know one another.  You became my dearest friend, and the world was not so gray or frightening anymore.  As our friendship grew more solid, we shared secrets no others know and most of all we held one another through the journey of living lives with chronic pain.

No other had ever looked upon me without seeing the broken body and soul, yet your eyes never saw me a broken or flawed.  You accepted me for all my faults, took all the broken pieces as one whole, and held them in your hands as you would a newborn baby with gentleness and security.

Every day I woke excited to see you, spend time with you, hear your voice.  Our nights were dragged out until the wee hours of the morning, and when we parted I took you with me into my dreams.  You were in every love song, and my heart sang your name.

But my heart was afraid, for it had been treated with great cruelty, taken for granted and shattered many times.  I had shut myself off to love and relationships because of the past but even more so due to being ill for I felt I had nothing to offer someone but broken pieces and pain.

I made it very clear I was not looking for a relationship and yet I was not the type to share my heart and body with no emotion and so we avoided crossing that line, walked around with it tied to us like a heavy ball and chain for no matter what the mind tried to say to protect me and yourself, our hearts had already chosen one another.

Our angst filled months grew painful and it was on a random afternoon that I spilled my heart to you.  I recall telling you clearly that I needed to be truthful of how I felt, but that I would always be your friend and care for you, for in my mind I could not fathom that you too were as head over hills in love with me.  For how could you be when I was so lost and broken, a mass of pain that had lost all I had ever known in my life, my career, my finances, my possessions all due to an illness that still has no real name or cure.

What could I possibly give to you?

You said it so simply, that all you wanted was me, pieces and all.

Afraid to confess and yet we both were feeling the same emotions, longing for the same dreams, and wishing to be together as the fates had deemed it long ago.

Oh how our world turned around, and filled with love and laughter, as we painted our canvas with rainbows.

You were my best friend before you were my lover, and you were my destiny when I was merely a star shining in the night sky waiting to be given life.

Every day I wake and am in awe that you are mine and I am yours.  Our love makes me get up when I am beat down, guides me to the light when I am in the darkest of places.  But what you do for me is beyond words, for you have saved me you see, from that pessimistic thinking that I was not good enough for anyone, that no one would want me.  I will never feel that I deserve you mon tresor, for that is what you are, my treasure in a world of chaos, you are the one pure thing that gives me eternal hope.

My heart, mon amour, is yours.  Every beat calls your name, and it shall beat for you in this lifetime and into the next.  Thank you, for being my rainbow and for loving me just the way I am.

Happy Anniversary Mrs. Raynier!

Mon trésor, mon monde, celui que mon cœur bat pour aujourd’hui et pour l’ensemble de mes jours.

Je t’aime,


Anniversary-I Love You

Our wedding photographs can be found in my prior post here as well as the beautiful photographs by our dear friend Harlow Heslop, here.

Pose used for “Anniversary-A New Home!”-oOo Studio ‘Amour’ (Available @ Vintage Fair August 4th, 2012)

Pose used for “Anniversary-I Love You” –aDORKable Poses: Je T’aime

7 thoughts on “My Heart Beats Only For You

  1. congratulations to you both !

  2. Chance! I’m not sure how anyone couldn’t be in love with you after reading that! You are a gem yourself, sir. You and Gabby shine so brightly together, you cast hope and love on everyone around you. Congrats to you two, and many many more anniversaries to come! <3

  3. That is the sweetest thing ever. Congratulations to you both <3

  4. Pingback: Vintage Fair Preview-Gizza & SSP: Painting The Town Red « Chance Raynier

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