The Autumn Leaves

Damien Fate released new items for FATEWEAR today and I likely will not be taking the items off anytime soon.   Scarves for Autumn/Winter season, in multiple styles so that you can wear them with different shirts, coats and his brand new cardigan shirt release.

Damien always goes all out with options and this release is another great addition to the FATEWEAR line.  I love cardigans, and this set is just perfect.  No worrying about fitting an undershirt, as it comes with its own, but you can equally wear it without.

Thank you Damien for making the open draped over the chest option of the scarves, that’s my favorite way to wear a scarf and you truly made it perfect.  Now if we can just talk him into making bowties!

The Autumn Leaves

What I Am Wearing:

Skin-NIVARO Crow Skin summertone

Hairbase-Entente Hairbase – B&W – Midnight black

Facial Hair-Entente Facial Hair B – Beard Deux – Black

Hat-Entente Vieux Flat Cap

Eyes-.ID. Spark [Mens Dept.] / Mesh Eyes / Aqua (Available @ The Mens Dept-November 5th)

Glasses-K_gs dub 1.00 (Available @ The Mens Dept-November 5th)

Hands-[CheerNo] Mesh Hands

Jacket & Shirt-FATEwear Shirt – Roger – Volcano & Roger Shirt – Tundra

Scarf-FATEwear Scarf – Harry – London (RF)

Pants-FATEwear Pants – John


My Heart Beats Only For You

Today is an extremely special day for me, for on this day exactly one year ago, Gabriella and I were married.  This is our first SLwedding anniversary and all week I have been waxing nostalgic.  We do not have the most epic of love stories, yet our love is that of fairy tales.  Before I take you down memory lane, I wanted to share the photographs that I hired the amazing Strawberry Singh to do for us.  This was one of my presents to Gabriella.  There is something magical and amazing in a Strawberry Singh photograph, and being as this is such a poignant and important day for us, I felt it was just the right way to capture our first year in marriage.  If you have not had a photograph by the amazing Berry, I urge you to for seeing yourself through her eyes is really something that touches deeply.

The Raynier’s By Strawberry Singh

The Raynier’s By Strawberry Singh

We hung this beautiful photo in our new home, and are paving a new road for this upcoming second year.  There are whispers of a little Cajun flitting around the house!

Anniversary-A New Home!

In my eyes, today is about us, and the journey that got us to this point.  Yet even moreso, it is about my beautiful Gabriella.  But to speak of Gabriella is not what my heart wants today, but to speak to her in words for it is the only way I know how to express all that resides in my heart.

Mon amour Gabriella,

On this day, one year ago, you and I became husband and wife in front of our friends.   Our wedding was perfect, beautiful and vibrant as is our love.  On that day, I gave you my  name and a ring to signify our devotion, yet it was long before our wedding that I gave you my heart.

When we met I was lost and alone, living in a world filled with monochrome hues and falling into a vast abyss of depression.  The moment we met, the gray canvas of my life suddenly came to life as if a grand painter splashed the sad canvas with every color of the rainbow.  You are my rainbow, mon ciel, filling my world with color and love from the start.

We hit it off from the start, and that spark grew as we enjoyed each others company, getting to know one another.  You became my dearest friend, and the world was not so gray or frightening anymore.  As our friendship grew more solid, we shared secrets no others know and most of all we held one another through the journey of living lives with chronic pain.

No other had ever looked upon me without seeing the broken body and soul, yet your eyes never saw me a broken or flawed.  You accepted me for all my faults, took all the broken pieces as one whole, and held them in your hands as you would a newborn baby with gentleness and security.

Every day I woke excited to see you, spend time with you, hear your voice.  Our nights were dragged out until the wee hours of the morning, and when we parted I took you with me into my dreams.  You were in every love song, and my heart sang your name.

But my heart was afraid, for it had been treated with great cruelty, taken for granted and shattered many times.  I had shut myself off to love and relationships because of the past but even more so due to being ill for I felt I had nothing to offer someone but broken pieces and pain.

I made it very clear I was not looking for a relationship and yet I was not the type to share my heart and body with no emotion and so we avoided crossing that line, walked around with it tied to us like a heavy ball and chain for no matter what the mind tried to say to protect me and yourself, our hearts had already chosen one another.

Our angst filled months grew painful and it was on a random afternoon that I spilled my heart to you.  I recall telling you clearly that I needed to be truthful of how I felt, but that I would always be your friend and care for you, for in my mind I could not fathom that you too were as head over hills in love with me.  For how could you be when I was so lost and broken, a mass of pain that had lost all I had ever known in my life, my career, my finances, my possessions all due to an illness that still has no real name or cure.

What could I possibly give to you?

You said it so simply, that all you wanted was me, pieces and all.

Afraid to confess and yet we both were feeling the same emotions, longing for the same dreams, and wishing to be together as the fates had deemed it long ago.

Oh how our world turned around, and filled with love and laughter, as we painted our canvas with rainbows.

You were my best friend before you were my lover, and you were my destiny when I was merely a star shining in the night sky waiting to be given life.

Every day I wake and am in awe that you are mine and I am yours.  Our love makes me get up when I am beat down, guides me to the light when I am in the darkest of places.  But what you do for me is beyond words, for you have saved me you see, from that pessimistic thinking that I was not good enough for anyone, that no one would want me.  I will never feel that I deserve you mon tresor, for that is what you are, my treasure in a world of chaos, you are the one pure thing that gives me eternal hope.

My heart, mon amour, is yours.  Every beat calls your name, and it shall beat for you in this lifetime and into the next.  Thank you, for being my rainbow and for loving me just the way I am.

Happy Anniversary Mrs. Raynier!

Mon trésor, mon monde, celui que mon cœur bat pour aujourd’hui et pour l’ensemble de mes jours.

Je t’aime,


Anniversary-I Love You

Our wedding photographs can be found in my prior post here as well as the beautiful photographs by our dear friend Harlow Heslop, here.

Pose used for “Anniversary-A New Home!”-oOo Studio ‘Amour’ (Available @ Vintage Fair August 4th, 2012)

Pose used for “Anniversary-I Love You” –aDORKable Poses: Je T’aime

She Said Leave It To Me, Everything Will Be Alright

The following entry is personal.  It  has nothing to do with fashion, the current events running in SecondLife or that great weekend find.  It’s personal, about me and the struggles I face being an individual who suffers from multiple chronic illnesses.

Many of you who read my blog or follow me on other social networks are well aware that I am ill.  Some of you are unsure what I have and very politely have asked privately if I would mind sharing what I do have.  Others are new to my little corner of the world, and unaware that I am even ill.  Part of this entry will clear that up, but the majority of it is for my own purging, a necessary catharsis if you will.

At age 12 I had my first migraine headache.  It was Christmas 1985.   I remember the falling snow began as my siblings and I put out luminarias in the yard as was our tradition.  In January of that year, mon Papa had a massive coronary heart-attack, which he died from.  The pain in my head was awful, but what was freightening is that my hand, face and tongue went numb.  Along with that, I saw everything with this odd swirling fuzziness as if I had been staring up at the sun for a long while.

Mon Mama took me to our family doctor after the holiday, and that is where I discovered I had had a migraine headache.   That was the beginning of my long 27 year journey.  Taking the medications out at the time for migraine, which was not that common as it is now, did little to help me.  I started having the headaches with multiple symptoms: aura (the fuzzy weird swirling in the sight as if you stared at the sun), nausea and vomiting, shaking in the hands to the point I could not feed myself.  I had to be given shots of Demerol to stop the pain, which just knocked me out for a day.  We moved to a new stage, seeing a neurologist.

The neurologist ordered multiple tests, blood, MRI, Cat-scan, nerve testing, and a sleep study.  The main thing the neurologist was looking for was a brain tumor.  Once that was ruled out and other frightening illnesses like M.S. and Parkinson’s Disease, he  informed us that I had what they referred to at the time as severe chronic migraine syndrome.  When measuring activity and pain of such headaches, the degree of my pain was at a steady level 10, with 10 being the highest, thus labeled severe.

What did it all mean though?  That I would get a migraine at least every 2 weeks that would last for many days before breaking.  Medications helped sometimes, other times it made it worse.

I learned to live with having migraines.  I changed my diet to exclude migraine inducing foods and drinks.  No caffeine, chocolate, MSG (monosodium glutamate), aged cheese, nitrates.  If you research foods that contain just nitrates alone, the list becomes quite long.  I did all of this.  I read every single package, carton, label to make sure it did not contain MSG for that was a major trigger for me and most migraine sufferers.  When you go to the market or grocery next, take a look at the back of boxes and labels, you will be surprised how many products contain MSG.

Luckily mon Mama is an amazing chef, and we ate most of our meals at home until the weekend or special occasions to which we did go out to eat at a restaurant.  Nothing that I ate at home that was cooked by her ever made me sick.  When I did go out to eat we started to discover other places that had to be avoided, for they used MSG in their ranch dressing, or certain sauces, even soy sauce.

By my high school years I had adapted to not drinking cokes or eating chocolate which were the main things I removed from my diet.  The headaches had not stopped however and by my Junior year I had at least one headache every week and one each month that put me out of commission for up to 8 days.  Needless to say I missed a great deal of school.

In January of my Junior year of high school, I was on a retreat with my peers.  During a performance by a guest speaker, I had my first and only seizure.  The tests with the neurologist started up again, now a worry of epilepsy added to the already disconcerting migraines.  Thankfully epilepsy was not the issue, but the pressure caused by the continued migraines the cause of my seizure.  This was treated with blood pressure medication, to keep the blood vessels from restricting and causing an issue again.

During my last year of high school, I had at least a migraine a month, but they seemed to be less frequent which I was thankful for.  However, Winter of my graduating year I was in a car accident on the way to school.  A typical scenario, on a highway, the car in front of me hits black ice, I hit my brakes to not hit the car in front of me.  The car in back of me hits me, I hit the ice and flip my cherry red 1965 convertible Mustang.  Luckily in Winter the top was not down or I would have lost my head.  During the flip, the metal frame of the windshield bashed into my face.  Fluids shooting out from the engine all over, my buddy next to me holding his head and knee, I was not staying in the car or leaving my buddy in there to blow up.  My panic hit my adrenaline and I squeezed through the drivers side window which had been crushed in halfway.  My buddy was pulled out by a man who helped us out.  I recall pulling out my drivers license which on the back had a label secured to it with mon Mama’s telephone number.  Across the highway I saw a police officer, and in my shock I all I wanted to do is run to him, but I did not make it but a few steps before I collapsed on the highway.

We were taken to the hospital via ambulance, secured for all head trauma and possible broken spine.  I recall the paramedics talking, shocked that we were even alive for the car was smashed up good and had rolled completely over.  One of the paramedics was certain that my neck had to be broken for what I did not know or see was that my entire left side of my face had been bashed in good by that windshield.  I knew I was bleeding, but did not realize it was from my face and forehead, thinking it was from my head where I had pressed my hand as it was hurting greatly.  I remember wiggling my toes as much as possible, to disprove the paramedics words.  I was more worried for my buddy, who had hit his knee into the dash enough to bust the knee open.

The outcome was a broken leg for my buddy and a facial contusion to the left side of my face.  I was extremely lucky that the cheekbone did not break.  My brother-in-law is a doctor who worked in the hospital I was taken to.  He came immediately to my side and he too thought for certain my cheek had been shattered.  Lucky to be alive, lucky to not have broken facial bones, lucky.  For months my face looked like I had gone 12 rounds with Mike Tyson.  The headaches of course got worse during that time, but then evened out to their normal once every two weeks or so.

I continued on through high school and college with these frequent migraines.  They started to lessen when I was 21, often people can grow out of them, but that was not the case here.  I had about one a month guaranteed.  That was less than in high school which I was thankful for.

In 2000, I steadily got worse, suffering from the migraines every few days.  On top of the migraines I started to have other issues of pain in my neck, shoulders, arms and hands.  My coordination became unsteady, my sight diminished and I started losing my hair.  I went to several specialists at UCLA, and that same year mon Mama was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a neurological and muscular disorder which results in the sufferer being in chronic pain among a long list of other issues.

I went to a neurologist again, who diagnosed me with hypermobility syndrome which basically means my joints stretch farther than normal, they often referred to it as being double-jointed.  I’d make a great contortionist! Along with the hypermobility, the doctor was “positive without a doubt” that I had Lupus.  I can’t explain why I felt adamant that the doctor was incorrect, but my gut would not relent that no way in hell did I have such an awful illness as Lupus.  I went to three other specialists who said NO, I did not have Lupus which they tested by sending a skin graph to a lab along with other blood work and tests.

This began the long testing at UCLA to rule out: Lupus, M.S.,Parkinsons Disease, Cancer, Lou Gherig’s disease, the list went on and on and on.  But the one that stuck out to us was cancer.  Now we were worried I had something even more severe and life threatening.  We waited two long weeks for test results to fully come back.  It was NOT cancer.  Relieved, only to discover that I too like mon Mama and other members of our family have Fibromyalgia.  When tested for Fibromyalgia, an individual has to have pain or tenderness in 11 of the 18 trigger points on the body.  When I was tested, I had all 18 trigger points ‘live’ as they refer to it.

Chronic migraines and Fibromyalgia.  Every year that passed I got worse, my pain hindering me from many things in my life.  My attendance at work became very poor.  I was unable to continue attending classes on campus. In Winter of 2009 I returned to a new set of specialists at USC Medical.  I set up an appointment in October of 2008 to see top neurologist in the country who specializes in chronic headache disorders in January of 2009.  It was not easy to get in to see this woman!

At USC I was again tested in the same way I had been so many times before.  The doctor put me on new medications that I had not tried before.   Every couple of weeks I went in to get Lidocaine shots in my shoulders, neck and scapula region of the back.   It was not a pleasant treatment but I was willing to do anything to get relief.  The shots helped some, but the pain still never went completely away.  More medications were tried.  At this point in my life I had taken over 22 different medications for my multiple illnesses.  I underwent physical therapy, acupuncture and deep massage.

Three months into my treatment at USC I was put on medical leave from work.  For six months I continued my treatment.

During this time, the doctor put me in for a program that she had been a part of the clinical trials for, using Botox injections in the head to treat chronic migraines.  My insurance was not too keen on the idea and it took a great deal of paperwork for her and I to get them to pay a percentage of the cost.  Each shot was $800.00 USD.  The shots were administered to my neck from the curve of my shoulder up to the base of my skull.  The shots were also placed at the entire left side of my skull from the back of my ear to the curve just before the temple.  Additionally shots were placed all along the forehead and right between my eyebrows.  The shots hurt like hell!

I sat in the doctors office after she administered the Botox injections and within ten minutes I looked to mon Mama and through my tears said, “There’s no pain, there’s no pain.”  Had we finally found the solution?  For nearly five days my pain was gone, but it was short lived as the return hit hard and fast on day five.  The injections could only be given every three months.   When the 3 month mark came up I received my second treatment of the Botox injections.  This time, they did nothing.  By round 3, it felt like a waste of money as they too did nothing.

Part of me will always wish that the treatment had never worked at all for it gave me that reprieve, that moment of hope and I grasped hold of it with all of my being.  When hope is shattered it is a painful event, and why I wish I’d not known that glimpse of being well, being pain free, being normal.

I now take a medication in the morphine family.  My pain is still greater than the morphine based medications.  It is very difficult to keep my head up, suffering pain unending as I am.  During my journey of illness I have lost lovers, friends and myself.  For people get tired of asking you to go out to do something and you have to cancel because you’re sick.  They stop asking.  They stop calling.  They don’t want to hear you ‘whine’ about being sick, about how you’re dreams have been pushed from reach.  They want the fun friend who is always making them laugh, who they can rely on, who cares for them.  Yet when the tears of the clown fall, the audience turns away from the sight.  I do know that true friends, loves and family do not leave you when you are in your darkest hours.  I do know that those who dismissed me due to being ill never deserved me in the first place.

The hardest part is losing my independence and my dream of the arts.  My hands shake horribly from my illness, so badly that I look like a junkie needing a fix.  I am unable to draw, ink, paint due to this.  This is why this blog is my creative outlet.  Through SecondLife, I truly do have a second life, where I am not sick, where I can go out dancing, I can take photographs and be creative.  It is my therapy, my reprieve and distraction where medications and specialists are at a loss, my distraction is all I have.

In all of this darkness that my pain causes, there are two women who bring a great deal of light and love to me.  Mon Mama, who stands beside me, holds me up, encourages me and never ever gives up on me.  Mon Mama who cries when she thinks I can not see or hear, and asks God to please help her child.  Mon Mama who has emptied out her savings in order to get me treatments that insurances don’t cover.

She Said Leave It To Me, Everything Will Be Alright

The other is my love, my partner, my soulmate Gabriella.  A woman who no matter how low I get, picks me up, dusts me off and says I love you, all your broken pieces and never ever tries to glue me back together but accepts me in all my pieces.  Never does she say to me that I am less due to my pain, nor does she turn away from me or ask me to not speak of my illness.  Always she puts her hand out to hold mine, to lift me up and shelter me in her arms and her love.  She thinks I am magnificent, even when I think I am worthless, she shows me otherwise.  And when I lay huddled on the floor, crying for myself, weeping in pain, torn and tattered like a rag-doll, she puts her arms around me and tells me she loves me, and that I am never alone.

Many of you, who read my blog, who follow me on social networks are a great network of compassion and strength.  So many of you reach out to me and may not realize how much of a difference that makes upon my day.  To each and every one of you that has reached out a hand like the beautiful women who I love so dearly, thank you, for being a part of my support network, thank you, for you.

My windlight can be downloaded here.


Mrs. Raynier and I believe in love.  We are of the mindset that EVERYONE has the RIGHT to love, freely and to not hide due to their love.  Gabby and I have friends, family, colleagues who are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, transgender.  Our belief is that everyone that is in love should have the right to marriage.  Everyone should have the same rights, regardless of race, gender, sexuality.

I was fortunate to be raised in a family that DID NOT teach me prejudice and hate.  I was never told that a certain race was WRONG, never did my parents speak belittling and hate filled derogatory words about any race, culture or creed.   Equally, I was never taught that the love of two men or two women was wrong because it is NOT wrong.

Gabriella shares: My uncle was gay.  After many years of hiding himself within a marriage, he could not keep up the charade.  He declared his sexuality to the family, and introduced them to his partner after his divorce.   They had an amazing relationship with a love of art, music, sports, and most of all, each other.   And it was that love that she and her family embraced with open arms.

My best friend for over 15 years was gay.  He and I had an amazing friendship, and a wonderful journey through life until drug abuse changed him and we parted ways.  We did not end our friendship because of his sexuality, that was never an issue.

I went to Gay Pride every year before becoming too ill to attend anymore.  I am a member of the Human Rights Campaign, GLAAD because I believe in equal rights for ALL!

Gabriella and I do not label love, we feel that the confines of such titles and declarations of sexuality are too limited.  For how can you define love?  We have loved both sexes, we have loved a soul regardless of their anatomy.  We love, that is all that matters to us.  We have a right to be married, why do our family, friends and colleagues not have the same right?

Right now, there is a campaign going on in SecondLife called Stand4Love, an awareness charity project focused on promoting marriage equality.  Stand4Love is currently doing a photography campaign in which we that believe in love for all are speaking out for equality with photographs and words.  You can participate by following the guidelines here.    A chosen amount of images with the best message of support will be put in a Stand4Love book to be published in Second Life and Issuu.   If you believe in marriage equality, consider supporting the campaign, if not,  I thank you for taking the time to read this.

We, the Raynier’s, stand for love!


*Note: The only alterations to this image are in the shadow in which I added a rainbow effect.  Addition of text and the required logo for Stand4Love were also included in Photoshop.  No other alterations were made to the wind-light enhanced raw shot from SecondLife.


If you read my blog or have interacted with me over the past year, you likely are aware that I fight a battle with chronic pain every day.  That battle has been proving more difficult as each day passes.  I am never pain free, haven’t been for over 8 years.  The pain increases often, making it ten times worse than the normal pain I am in all the time.  When those bouts of pain spikes happen, they can last for an hour to weeks.

Right now I am struggling to keep fighting.  Every day I wake up I have to put on my game face, try to manage simple tasks and accept defeat when my pain is too much for me.  I’ve come to look at my pain as my worse enemy, my constant adversary.  This adversary wants to defeat me, and often it does.  It robs me of many of my simple pleasures in life.  I am unable to draw, animate, paint or take photographs in real life.  This is due to the fact my pain doesn’t allow me to move in the same way I used to, and my hands shake horribly to the point I drop things often.

It is a difficult journey for it often feels as if I am fighting against myself.  For how do you fight that which is housed within your own being?  Battling ones self is indescribably heartbreaking and it takes great willpower to keep lifting your head off the battlefield.

Why am I telling you all this?  Because I needed to get it out, I needed to express it in some way.  So I did it visually as best that I could today during a high pain bout.  They are not the best images, but they express what I am feeling.  I am a fighter, and despite the fact my pain often wins, I will never let it completely defeat me.



What Pain (Chance 1) Is Wearing:

Skin-Belleza Jakob Tan

Eyes-Mayfly Deep Sky Mesh Eye (Morning Sea)

Ears-AITUI (Type 2) Stretched Ear – Human – 1/2″

Hairbase-Entente B&W Midnight

Facial Hair- Entente Facial Hair B – Beard Deux – Black – Hair & –EMORTAL CONCEPTS~Facial Hair Tattoo~BLK Chin Curtain

Hair-Entente Thibaut Hair

Shorts-PHILO Harvester Sweat Pants – Crimson

Socks-Maitreya Scrunched PrimSocks * White

Gloves-Roosters Bloodied Wraps

Shoes-Entente L’Equipe Kicks

What I Am Wearing:

Skin-Belleza Jakob Tan

Eyes-Mayfly Deep Sky Mesh Eye (Morning Sea)

Ears-AITUI (Type 2) Stretched Ear – Human – 1/2″

Hairbase-Entente B&W Midnight

Facial Hair- Entente Facial Hair B – Beard Deux – Black – Hair

Boxing Gloves & Helmet-Evillast by Fade Dana

Suspenders-RezIpsa Loc Suspenders Brick Red

Shorts-RONSEM Jersey Half / gray

Boots-League Shin Boot

Body Bruises-Coca & Wolf

Facial Bruises-Sin Alley Bruised eye and busted cheek

Poses-STAKEY ,Diesel Works

Perfect Match

I am a hopeless romantic.  As a child I was blessed with loving parents and siblings.  My parents showed me the beauty of true love.  A love eternal that transcends space and time, life and death.  They are the foundation of love and a loving relationship to me.  My father brought my mother red roses on Fridays after work.  He gave her little love letters on ordinary days, hidden in the cupboards, the flour container, her sewing kit, little places she would find them on an ordinary day.

My parents danced in the rain, said I love you with just their eyes, and always treated each other with the utmost respect.  My father demanded women were treated like ladies.  His main lady was my mother and he did not tolerate her being treated anything less than the lady she is still to this day.  When I was 11 years old, my world changed and fairy tales and the world colored in rainbows shattered.  My father died of a heart attack at 3:30am.  That is the day that life as I knew it, changed forever.

My mother has never remarried, for as she has shared with us, she found her soulmate and there was no other for her.  It has been 27 years since that nightmare night, and my mother still cries for him on ordinary days, but remembers with a tear and a smile the beauty of love.  He is still her one and only valentine and they are still the epitome of love to me.

Along my journey in growing up, I closed myself off to love for the love I held for my father though familial, taught me how much it hurt when you lost a loved one.  I was afraid to love and yet as my mother always saw and pointed out, like my father, I had a huge capacity for love.  I had several relationships through my life thus far, and none of them worked out due to so many of the reasons relationships fail.  I put myself out there, but I never sought it out.

In 2004 I was diagnosed with multiple illnesses, the prominent being Fibromyalgia and chronic migraines, borderline Lupus and Occipital neuralgia.  What all that means in a nutshell is that I am in pain 24/7 with very little to no relief.  I have lived in pain without a pain-free day for over 8 years.  The past 5 years have been the worst and it has robbed me of many things in my life.  Due to all of this I became quite depressed and love was something I had shut myself off to entirely.  The very naked reason: I felt I had nothing to offer another person for I was so very broken.

One day in our virtual world of Second Life, I met a girl.  It was in October of 2010.  I was undergoing treatment at University that consisted of getting shots of Lidocaine in my neck, base of my skull, shoulders and back.  Each visit was once a week and I would get between 10 to 25 shots in those areas.  Specialists are still baffled by my illness and pain, and I let them do just about anything they wanted to me to see if I could finally have a pain-free day.  To this day nothing has helped, and I have stopped any treatments but I have not stopped searching for alternatives.  I was living like a zombie, medicated to the point I slept all day and was up all night.  Yet none of those medications helped the pain, they just made me even less than I was before them, a shell of a person going from day-to-day in a very gray world.

My world used to be painted in vivid colors, and when my father died and my world turned to gray, I did not know or even dream it could be filled with rainbows.

Until I met a girl.

Her name is Gabriella.

From the moment I met Gabriella, my world changed forever.  She was like the sunshine on a cold Winter day breaking through the gloomy dark sky.  Witty, intelligent, funny and so very caring, these were the main traits that made me want to spend more time with her, get to know her.  Me, the recluse that had sheltered myself into an almost hermit state, wanted to get up every day and rush to see if she was around, so I could spend more time with her.

I fell in love with her the day she answered a very simple question with a very amazing answer.  “What is your favorite color, Gabriella?”  She turned and said to me.  “Rainbow.”

Gabriella is my rainbow, she painted my world from gray to vibrant hues.  She took my broken heart and said, “Just because it is broken, does not mean I can’t hold it and love it, and you.”  Love is a gift, and one that I did not expect in this enigmatic woman.  I suppose the old sayings true, love finds you when you least expect it and are not looking for it.

Thank you, Gabriella, for showing me true love, for making my life a fairy tale and most of all for painting my world in rainbows where the canvas had been so very gray.

Je t’aime mon ciel, mon amour toujours mon coeur.

Joyeuse Saint Valentin everyone!

Joyeuse Saint Valentin

What Gabriella & I Are Wearing:



Shirts & Shoes-Entente



Poses-Magnifique Poses,  !bang posesSTAKEY, PNP

Nile Dreams

Nile Queen

Nile King

What Gabriella Is Wearing:

Hair-TRUTH Andrea espresso

Skin-Belleza Elle Deep Tan

Arm Bracelets-Illusions Semeret Bangles and Cuffs

Eyes-FASHISM ‘Sunrise’ Eyes – Brown

Jewelry-EarthStones Natalia

Outfit-Illusions Semeret

Shoes-Zaara Llaida Mojri

What Chance Is Wearing:

Headdress-Illusions Nemes Headdress

Skin-Belleza Jakob Tan

Eyes-Mayfly Deep Sky Mesh Eye (Morning Sea)

Liner-~Tableau Vivant~ Vincent Make up 1 eyeliner

Ears-AITUI (Type 2) Stretched Ear – Human – 1/2″

Facial Hair- VCD  Express Yourself – Facial Hair -1  &  3 , LJ Attachment Option 1 – BLACK

Collar-Illusions Nemes

Arm Bracelets-Illusions Semer Bangles and Cuffs

Outfit-Illusions Semer

Shoes-T.E.D. Salinus Sandals Black

PosesLong Awkward PoseOlive JuicePurple Poses, Kabuki

Pharaoh Palace build by Lupa Serenity of Wolfmoon Designs

The Nile Calls To Me

A few weeks ago, my beloved Gabriella informed me that she would be working on a secret project with my best friend.  This of course made me wonder at what the two cheries were up to!  But I had very explicit orders that I was not to be below 1000ft. on our sim.  For a couple of days they worked together on this secret project.  I of course kept my word and didn’t peek though did tease often that I was going down to the secret area.

They enjoyed teasing me and knew it was driving me crazy to know what they were doing.  Impish women, chattering in my ear and giggling while dangling little hints to me, but I did not peak! And I am so glad that I didn’t, for when they finally finished, they teleported me to the secret area and I was speechless.  There before my eyes, they had created Egypt!  Now, a little back story so that you understand why this is so important to me.

As an avid roleplayer, I have many personas, but Chance is the ‘me’ in all of those creations.  Though I have not roleplayed in a very long time, I do have a roleplay back-story, the most prominent is that in character I am an Archaeologist.  An Egyptologist to be exact. I had talked to Gabriella and my best friend Lupa about doing a big roleplay with them, taking us to Egypt on an excavation.  We figured we could go to a few sims that had a desert theme, but finding an actual archaeological dig site was a whole other story.  That is when Gabriella secretly asked my best friend to help her create one.

For the past few weeks since they completed the areas on our sim, we have been embarking on a grand expedition from Cairo city to the East, in search of ancient tombs and a secret city buried beneath the sands of time.  Over the next few blog posts, with the exception of a few styles or events, I will be featuring images from our roleplay to share with you.  I hope you enjoy them as much as we have finding the many wonderful creations in SecondLife to bring our roleplay to even more life.

And yes, that is my FALT in white. :)

The Nile Calls To Me

The Nile Calls To Me

What Damien Is Wearing:

Skin-Make-up-~Tableau Vivant~ Vincent

Eyes-*By Snow* Rainbow Fae Eyes

Headdress-Illusions Nemes Headdress: Male

Arm Bracelets-Illusions Semer Bangles and Cuffs

Outfit-N.A.M.E. The Pharoah (chest piece was modified to remove serpent)

Shoes-T.E.D. Salinus Sandals Brown

What Ecatarina Is Wearing:

Hair-TRUTH Andrea w/Roots – blood

Head Jewel-Zaara Suvarna kundan head jewel 2

Skin-Belleza Elle Sunkissed

Eyes-Mayfly Deep Sky Mesh Eye (Vivid Blue)

Liner-Action Cosmetics Liners – Thick Cat Eye

Lashes-ploom Lashes 4

Earrings-EarthStones Entice Earrings – Diamond/Gold

Necklace-Ashira’s Isis Necklace

Outfit-Quality Designs Shayana -White

Arm Bracelets-Ashira’s bracelet eye of horus

Shoes-Maitreya Gold * Foxy White

What Gabriella Is Wearing:

Skin-Belleza Elle Deep Tan

Eyes-FASHISM ‘Sunrise’ Eyes – Brown

Hair-[LeLutka] KNOTTED hair – CoalMine

Jewelry-Zaara Nizam

Outfit-Zaara Frawla lehenga *nude*

Shoes-N-core SOUL -Chained- XtremeHeel II “Leopard”

What Chance Is Wearing:

Skin-Belleza Jakob Tan

Eyes-Mayfly Deep Sky Mesh Eye (Morning Sea)

Liner-~Tableau Vivant~ Vincent Make up 1 eyeliner

Ears-AITUI (Type 2) Stretched Ear – Human – 1/2″

Facial Hair- VCD  Express Yourself – Facial Hair -1  &  3 , LJ Attachment Option 1 – BLACK

Outfit-B@R Thoth-Black

Shoes-T.E.D. Salinus Sandals Black

Poses– GlitteratiLong Awkward PoseOlive JuicePurple Poses

Cajun VS. Kittycat!

If you have not heard about my addiction to KittyCats, you surely will see that I definitely have one after this post.

In real life I am unable to have a cat due to several factors which saddens me greatly.  I absolutely love all felines.  From little kittens to the majestic Bengal tigers that are my animal spirit, I have a great affinity for felines.

When I discovered KittyCats in world, I had to have one.  Yeah you’re laughin’ while reading thing because we all know stopping at just one is not easy.  One turned into 101!  After thinning down the cattery, this here Cajun decided to go on a mission to breed the cats that I wanted, with the traits that appeal to me.

After 4 months I have done that a few times now, and this little beauty is just one of them.  The image does not show her lovely passion eyes which are a crimson red which really pop on the black fur.  I am going to auction her off tomorrow in hopes of finding her a great home!  I can’t keep every kitty as much as I would love to, but I certainly am happy to keep on the furry journey.

Pictured below, Selene kicked my @ss despite my size advantage.  As you can see, she was stylin while doin’ it, my homage to Fight Club, which will be a later post.

You know you have a KittyCats problem, when said KittyCats start kickin’ your @ss!

Cajun VS KittyCat

Cajun VS. KittyCat!

What Selene Is Wearing:


Fight Gloves-RONSEM

What I Am Wearing:


Bruises-Coca & Wolf

Wrists-Slave Driven Designs Fighter Hands

Boxing/Wrestling Ring Prop-Wolfmoon Designs (Contact my dear friend Lupa Serenity via notecard if you wish to purchase one and let her know Chance sent ya!) Note: ring has been shrunk to smallest size for this image.  Normal dimensions are for average sized AVs. There are no animations it is merely a roleplay prop.

Marry Me

On July 30th, 2011 at 5:00 PM SLT Gabriella and I were married!

We were overjoyed to have so many attend our very special day, the start to a new chapter together.

Weeks of planning, ordering custom flowers, cake & decor from Evocative Weddings and a huge set created by my best friend Lupa Serenity,

it all came together.

The scene was like a fairy tale.  The beautiful music provided by the wonderful DJ Sierra Sugar washed a magical soundtrack across out home.

As I waited for my beautiful bride, nervous with sweaty palms and fidgeting hands, our guests left beautiful words in our guestbook and mingled

until the wedding officiator settled everyone for the big moment.

Ave Maria began to play.  The first note, I saw my resplendent bride, and my eyes filled with tears for in that moment I saw my dream

become reality.

Here Comes The Bride

My heart stopped and yet began to beat in time with hers with every step she took towards me.  My soulmate.  Never did I dream I would find her.

The other half to my being, the one to make me whole.

I Do!

The officiates words were beautiful, what I caught of them, for all I could do was hear my heartbeat and look upon my bride.

I Do!

Among our dearest friends, new friends, upon a fairy tale tapestry, we shared words from our hearts and vowed to protect the gift of each other, forever.

The First Dance of Mr. & Mrs. Raynier

After the ceremony, we joined our family and friends in the reception gazebo.  Champagne flowed, the buffet was indulged and the

time came for my beautiful bride and I to have our first dance as husband and wife.  We love to dance, it is one thing that we try to

do often, but this dance will be the one I remember when I am old and gray sitting beside her on our porch, reminiscing.

From that point on our new chapter was filled with well wishes, blessings and words of love from our growing family.  We enjoyed the

music and camaraderie, dancing and jesting.

Other than the sim being restarting at the most inopportune time, everything went perfectly!  Those of you who joined us, we thank you

from the bottom of our entwined hearts for sharing in our most special day.  For those who were unable to make it but wished to, we felt

your presence and your warmth.  We thank each and everyone who has supported us in our journey together and look forward to many

more memories made with our growing family.

Gabriella Marie Marguerite Raynier

What The Bride Wore:


Wedding Gown-JayGee

Tiara-Jewelry By Jake


Flowers-Evocative Weddings (commission)

Shoes-Tiptoe Designs

Chance Philippe Leon Raynier

To see candid photos from the ceremony please visit: Chance & Gabriella’s Wedding Flickr

What The Groom Wore:


Tuxedo-Lapointe & Bastchilde (multiple pieces from 2 sets)

Pocket Watch-EarthStones

Shoes-Lapointe & Bastchilde

Flowers-Evocative Weddings (commission)

Poses-Bits & BobsMagnifique, Essential Soul