I am a hopeless romantic. As a child I was blessed with loving parents and siblings. My parents showed me the beauty of true love. A love eternal that transcends space and time, life and death. They are the foundation of love and a loving relationship to me. My father brought my mother red roses on Fridays after work. He gave her little love letters on ordinary days, hidden in the cupboards, the flour container, her sewing kit, little places she would find them on an ordinary day.
My parents danced in the rain, said I love you with just their eyes, and always treated each other with the utmost respect. My father demanded women were treated like ladies. His main lady was my mother and he did not tolerate her being treated anything less than the lady she is still to this day. When I was 11 years old, my world changed and fairy tales and the world colored in rainbows shattered. My father died of a heart attack at 3:30am. That is the day that life as I knew it, changed forever.
My mother has never remarried, for as she has shared with us, she found her soulmate and there was no other for her. It has been 27 years since that nightmare night, and my mother still cries for him on ordinary days, but remembers with a tear and a smile the beauty of love. He is still her one and only valentine and they are still the epitome of love to me.
Along my journey in growing up, I closed myself off to love for the love I held for my father though familial, taught me how much it hurt when you lost a loved one. I was afraid to love and yet as my mother always saw and pointed out, like my father, I had a huge capacity for love. I had several relationships through my life thus far, and none of them worked out due to so many of the reasons relationships fail. I put myself out there, but I never sought it out.
In 2004 I was diagnosed with multiple illnesses, the prominent being Fibromyalgia and chronic migraines, borderline Lupus and Occipital neuralgia. What all that means in a nutshell is that I am in pain 24/7 with very little to no relief. I have lived in pain without a pain-free day for over 8 years. The past 5 years have been the worst and it has robbed me of many things in my life. Due to all of this I became quite depressed and love was something I had shut myself off to entirely. The very naked reason: I felt I had nothing to offer another person for I was so very broken.
One day in our virtual world of Second Life, I met a girl. It was in October of 2010. I was undergoing treatment at University that consisted of getting shots of Lidocaine in my neck, base of my skull, shoulders and back. Each visit was once a week and I would get between 10 to 25 shots in those areas. Specialists are still baffled by my illness and pain, and I let them do just about anything they wanted to me to see if I could finally have a pain-free day. To this day nothing has helped, and I have stopped any treatments but I have not stopped searching for alternatives. I was living like a zombie, medicated to the point I slept all day and was up all night. Yet none of those medications helped the pain, they just made me even less than I was before them, a shell of a person going from day-to-day in a very gray world.
My world used to be painted in vivid colors, and when my father died and my world turned to gray, I did not know or even dream it could be filled with rainbows.
Until I met a girl.
Her name is Gabriella.
From the moment I met Gabriella, my world changed forever. She was like the sunshine on a cold Winter day breaking through the gloomy dark sky. Witty, intelligent, funny and so very caring, these were the main traits that made me want to spend more time with her, get to know her. Me, the recluse that had sheltered myself into an almost hermit state, wanted to get up every day and rush to see if she was around, so I could spend more time with her.
I fell in love with her the day she answered a very simple question with a very amazing answer. “What is your favorite color, Gabriella?” She turned and said to me. “Rainbow.”
Gabriella is my rainbow, she painted my world from gray to vibrant hues. She took my broken heart and said, “Just because it is broken, does not mean I can’t hold it and love it, and you.” Love is a gift, and one that I did not expect in this enigmatic woman. I suppose the old sayings true, love finds you when you least expect it and are not looking for it.
Thank you, Gabriella, for showing me true love, for making my life a fairy tale and most of all for painting my world in rainbows where the canvas had been so very gray.
Je t’aime mon ciel, mon amour toujours mon coeur.
Joyeuse Saint Valentin everyone!
Joyeuse Saint Valentin
What Gabriella & I Are Wearing:
Shirts & Shoes-Entente
Poses-Magnifique Poses, !bang poses, STAKEY, PNP